HATE & THANKSGIVING

I know. What a combination of words. Hate & Thanksgiving.

I have much to be thankfufl for. We all do. My thanksgiving wish is for all of us to put aside all of our anger, all of our differences and just be thankful. Not a new concenpt but something that definately needs repeating.

Politics, the economy, health issues, family squabbles, political correctness -- once upon a time these topics were topics for discussion. Once upon a time, these topics were amongst our freedoms to discuss . Now it seems as if these topics of fuel for nothing more than judgment and hatred. It saddens me.

Maybe its because of my personal circumstances, maybe I'm just naive -- but at the end of the day I am I have my concience, my heart, my family, my friends and my pillow. Okay, I also have my Lord and Saviour. I make no appologies for what I say.

I have been blessed beyond meausre. And if you take a moment, really take a moment to first clear your mind, take a deep breath and either look at or think of something that is simply beauty in your life, maybe you'll agree with me that we are all blessed beyond measure.

I have great doctors who are working on my behalf. I have family, friends and even strangers praying and caring for me. More importanly, I have a loving bride who is by my side fighting for me and supporting me. (Even though she insists on correcting my grammar and spelling mistakes when I blog or write anything else for that matter). Most importantly, I have my spirit, my God and yes, if I'm lucky, my pillow for where I rest my head. And if I'm really lucky, I will awake on said pillow to see another day.

My hope and prayer is that I will see you, experience you, but most importanly, be with you in one way or another to share in Thankgiving, Christmas, and every holiday or ordinatory day to come.

Hate leaves no room for Thanksgiving. Conflict closes the door to an open heart. And frustration only fuels the evil that slams shut an open mind.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. As I thank God for you -- for you being in my life!

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!

WHO ARE YOU LIFTING UP?

Maybe it's the holiday season - I'm not sure. But here's a thought. I've been so blessed with folks calling, sending cards and e-mails, etc. From experience, I can tell you that there is nothing better than knowing that someone is thinking of you, not because it's a birthday, holiday, etc. But just because.

So, I've decided that when I think of someone, I'm going to either call, e-mail or send a card. Why? Just because.

During my 9+ months of being at home with my illness, I have experienced many great things. Most of which are cards, letters, e-mails and phone calls of support and concern. Imagine what it the impact if YOU called someone just because? If YOU wrote someone, just because.

People say that letter writing is a lost art. Maybe it's me; maybe it's because I've got lots of time on my hands, but sending little notes goes a long way. Even if it's just a simple text to let someone know that you are thinking of them and caring about them.

Give it a try. Think of at least three people who you haven't communicated with in a while. (And no, I don't count.) Send them either a text, e-mail or even better - a card, letter or postcard. It may be even easier to pick up the phone and call. There's nothing wrong will calling while someone isn't home and leaving them a message that simply says "hey there! Just calling to say hi and that I'm thinking of you! Hope you're having a great day!"

Imagine the impact! The great part? If you do it right? You'll have to slow yourself down, take a deep breath and remember what is really important. The next step would be to do this once a week or once per month. Take the time to take a deep breath, relax, center, pick three friends or family members and go for it.

Maybe it's the season. Maybe it's knowing the real reward. Lift up those around you by showing that you care. When you are finished, bask in the glow of knowing that you did a great thing -- with words! A little time and some kind words. The gift that keeps on giving.

Be well, live strong and love out loud!

BUYER BEWARE

NBC's Dateline did a great piece on the Better Business Bureau and how the organization forces companies to become members. The piece showed that the BBB would give a company a bad rating and only after the company in question paid their membership dues did their rating improve.

Ever wonder how a company received good ratings from companies like Angie's List, Kudzu, the BBB, etc.? Well, now you know. All three of these organizations have been very aggressive in their marketing. I've received many phone calls where the representative states that "Mr. Dec your and your company have received favorable ratings within our organization and we'd like to offer you the opportunity to both boast and boost your company's image by offering you membership in our organization." Basically, pay $400 for the use of their logo on my letterhead, advertising, etc.

Anyone can post a logo onto their letterhead. Do your homework. If you are trying to hire a contractor there is no better referral than that from a friend or family member. Be sure to get at least three references from the contractor and call all three of them. Ask them what they liked about their experience and what they disliked. Be sure that the contractor is licensed and insured. The contractor's insurance company should send you a certificate of insurance. This certificate should come from the insurance company directly, not from the contractor. With desktop publishing tools that are readily available, a contractor could easily fabricate a phony insurance certificate.

My goal here is not to make you paranoid, but to help you make the best decision possible in hiring a contractor. Do your homework, follow your gut instincts and you should be fine. As always, if I can be of any help, don't hesitate to ask.

VETERAN'S DAY

I remember the family bringing my Uncle Stan to the airport. Twice we made the trip to drop him off and twice to pick him up. Two tours of duty. Fighting for our country in Vietnam. I was very young and didn't have any real perspective of what war was about.

I'm pretty close to my Uncle Stan. Over the years he's shared more and more of the stories of war. He's shared the funny stories and the horrific.

My Dad served in Korea, long before I was born. Both my Father and my Uncle returned safe. My Uncle did get shot a couple of times, but his scars are deeper than those left by bullets. So today, more than ever, I call, spend time and thank the veterans in my life. I'm blessed not only by their service, but by the fact that they are home safe and sound.

In the last week, our state of Arizona has lost four young soldiers. Four lives given for our protection and our freedoms. I'm reminded of that saying "Freedom isn't Free".

Thank a veteran today - and every day. Thank them and God for your freedom. And let's pray for their safety and for their families. Pray that their families remain safe and strong. Let's do our part to support the veterans in our lives and in our communities. For they are the ones who protect our freedoms and protect our families.

Heroes. True heroes. More than sports idols. More than pop stars. Veteran's are true heroes. Thank them. Respect them. Tell your children about them. Remember them. And never forget. Never forget them and their sacrifices.

DINNER TIME

An important part of family time. Dinner is when everyone can gather around and talk about their day, what they've learned and experienced.

When I was a kid, we played outside. The rule was that we had 15 minutes to get inside once the street lights went on. Sure, our family had its challenges. But I remember eating dinner together almost every night. With today's schedules and endless distractions from the endless amount of electronic gadgetry, it's as if family time is getting lost. Hey I'm guilty at times. My wife and I find ourselves eating dinner in front of the television, muting the volume for a quick moment to squeeze in a prayer of grace. Not a good habit and I know I need to change it.

I remember and  miss the days when the stores were closed on Sunday. You had no choice but to be home because nothing was open. Sure, we'd go to church, but after church we'd go home, change our clothes, maybe watch television together but we'd all end up at the table to share Sunday Dinner.

Caring and sharing. Isn't that what life is about? Hearing about each others victories. Venting frustrations. Seeking guidance for challenges. Celebrating family.

Nowadays the children are busy with sports practices, games, clubs, etc. Times have changed from the days of building forts in the woods and just hanging out. It must be difficult for families to make the time to get everyone at the dinner table at the same time. But hopefully, most of you adults remember some type of dinner time sharing as a child.

How do we really know what's going on in a child's world or in a child's mind if we don't take the time to clear our agenda's and focus on family? And who am I to say? My wife and I don't have children. But we have each other. And I know that we communicate better when we set aside time for each other, over a meal.

So here's my challenge to you. If you can have dinner together every night, great! If you can't, at least schedule one night a week or one meal per weekend where the television is off, play some relaxing music, prepare a meal with contributions in effort from each family member; hold hands for a moment of reflection and prayer. Then, honestly and genuinely ask each person at the table how they are doing, what's on their mind and how the family can help?

Bon Appetit!

BARRIER OR BRIDGE?

In this sometimes, frustrating world, we could all use some perspective. Quite often, we get frustrated and either lash out or give up. Why not look at the situation as a bridge rather than a barrier?

In many situations, frustration can actually bring forth ideas and solutions - positive ideas and solutions. I remember working for a large software manufacturing company when the president of the company came in and began to write onto the whiteboard. He said "shout out the list of software bugs". We did and he wrote them onto the whiteboard. When we finished listing the bugs, he drew a vertical line so the bugs where listed on the left side leaving the right hand column blank. Atop the right hand column he wrote "Features". Then he announced that no one would be able to leave the room until all of the bugs on the left side where identified as features on the right side. A very frustrating exercise. We accomplished the goal in a matter of hours. And yes, it was frustrating. But if forced us all to look closer at the task at hand but better than simply renaming the bugs as features, we were able to resolve most of the bugs and finally release the software to the market.

What the President did here was force a group of folks who weren't working very well together and create a boiling point so solutions could be found. I've learned that when I'm working on a project and I become frustrated that if I stop and take a deep breath I will soon realize that a breakthrough is about to occur.

In consideration of my current health challenges, I find myself looking towards my faith. Yes, my health is a horrible barrier towards what it is I want to do and be. But I really have little control other than my perspective. As it relates to faith I believe God is trying to get my attention. And boy does he ever have my attention. More importantly, I've been able to witness some great things since I've fallen in last February. People who've never prayed before are praying for me. People are more open in sharing their own love, stories, pain, worry and grief.

Yes, I have my challenges and life is not at all what I want it to be. But rather than sit facing my burdens with anger or frustration, I spend quiet time searching for the meaning of it all. I am often surprised as to the bridges of opportunity that are before me. For instance, I love photography. So I've been able to look through my many photos and come up with some ideas where I may be able to earn some income from them. This blog -- hopefully this blog touches someone or give someone a reason to stop and think - think a bit differently than they once did. Maybe it is all so simple. A time to reflect. A time to be. A time to be grateful and celebrate what I do have. There's always someone worse off.

So, are you facing and fighting with barriers or are you building bridges? Even if you don't know how to build the bridge, keep trying. You'll surprise yourself. You can't scream at the barrier hoping it fall down while at the same time planning, retooling and building the bridge towards your answer, your solution, your purpose.

As someone once told me: "Stop telling the God how big your mountains are and start telling your mountains how big your God is. That's faith. That's bridge building. Keep building and live blessed!

A LOVING HEART

There are people who go after your humanity to tell you that the light in your heart is a weakness. Don't believe them! It is an old tactic of cruel people to kill kindness in the name of virtue. There is nothing wrong with love. Have we forgotten the message of our Savior? Love the people.

The above paragraph comes from the movie Doubt. I know, again, not an original thought. But I thought it important enough to share. In a world of conflict shouldn't we first think of love? We should love those around us including those with whom we are in conflict. Say you're about to enter a meeting with someone and you feel as though you need to fight for your position. Why not start with compassion? Take time to first understand the other person's position before pushing your own? It think it was Stephen Covey who said: "seek first to understand, then be understood". A great lesson there.

With the political climate of late and all of the anger that comes with it, we could all do better to first thinking of how expressing our positions encourages or spreads love. I know that I do much better when someone explains their position or anything for that matter from a position of caring. But caring takes time and energy. Unfortunately, we live in a world of sound bites. We are often asked questions with deceptive prefaces or asked to answer complex questions with black or white answers. Why does every discussion have to become a debate? Why does every debate have to end in judgment: "What are you a liberal? Are you some kind of conservative?"

Labels. It appears to be a very easy, lazy way to come to conclusions while tossing people aside. We'd all do a bit better if we took a deep breath and had more discussions and less debates. Yes, it will take more time and more energy. But the return on investment would no doubt be great. So next time someone asks your opinion, don't be threatened - say "that's a great question. Why don't we schedule some time to sit and discuss that topic?" Again, it will take time. But in time, maybe things will change. Maybe we can change from talking points and sound bites to meaningful, caring and loving discussions. Maybe our behavior will teach others how to treat us.

I can tell you, for me, this works. I'm often asked: "In a world like ours, how can you believe in a God?". Not a light questions. And you can tell by the tone the person asking the question I could become very defensive. I now answer the question with an invitation: "If you'd like to explore the basis of my faith, we would need to invest some time to discuss. Faith is not something where a sound bite will suffice - faith deserves more than that." I haven't really had anyone take me up on the meeting, but at least I did not allow myself to be pushed into a corner and answer a question with a sound bite. And I'm sure to I invite the person with honest compassion and love.

We'd all do much better if we simply slowed down a bit and showed some loving compassion. The love of one's heart can bring light to those in conflict. When someone is firm in their position and frustrated with yours, seek first to understand then be understood. Simply listening with a loving heart will ease the frustration of the other party. For me, in my head and in my heart I say: "I love this person because they are a child of God. All of God's children deserve respect, love and compassion. I am excited to learn from this person and maybe the chance to teach something new." My prayer before a challenging meeting or interaction is: "Dear Lord, fill me with your loving holy spirit. Help me to remember that this is Your child and that all Your children deserve love and compassion. Help me to keep an open minded and help him/her to do  the same. Help me to keep my words kind and my patience strong. Amen".

A loving heart. Close your eyes for a moment and think, how does it feel to have a loving heart? Take a deep breath and think of your loving heart. Your blood pressure would come down. You'd experience a warmth about you and your tone would become calm. Maybe we should all try this throughout our day so that we stay centered and focused. Centered and focused on love, compassion and patience.


Be sure to enjoy your day!

GOSSIP - and feathers

A woman is awakened in the middle of the night by the image of a big hand pointing down at her. The next day she seeks the wisdom of a priest at her church. The priest asks her if she had something to confess. She reluctantly said yes.

They entered the confessional and began the typical, ritual conversation. When the time came, the priest asked "dear child, is there something that you wish to confess? The woman stated "yes. I fear that I have given false witness to someone I know." The priest suggested that she would be forgiven. But first, her penance would be this . . .

"Dear child. Take your pillow and go to the roof of your home. With you, take a knife. When you reach the top of your roof, cut into your pillow and be sure to cut it open as wide as you can. Once you have done this, come back to me and we will continue our talk."

With pause and a bit of confusion, the woman did as the priest instructed. The next day, she returned to see the priest. The priest asked, "did you do as I said? Did you go to the roof with your pillow?" The woman answered "Yes. father. I did". The priest responded "now go and retrieve each and every feather that escaped from the pillow". The woman, looking confused and somewhat scared replied, "but father, that would be impossible." The priest responded, "and now you know the true perils of gossip. What true damage gossip can do."

I'd love to take credit for this story, but it is one I heard from the movie Doubt. What a great movie. Very deep and meaningful. And in this short story that I just quoted, one can imagine the damage that can be done when we gossip. Can one really make a mends from such story telling? Can one really take back all that has been said? Let us all remember: Though shalt not bare false witness. Be careful what we say. Be careful what you may contribute to by listening and accepting. Be mindful of your words and the words of others. For there is nothing more painful, more damaging, more hurtful than gossip.

Next time you find yourself involved in gossip of any kind, close your eyes for a moment. Imaging the thousands of feathers blowing in the wind. Feathers blowing in the wind while you are holding the wrapper which is the story -- the pillow case. Now imaging trying to seek out, find, collect and put back all of those feathers.

Again, not my original idea. I said that I don't have many. But God has blessed me with insights. Some from true life; some from movies and books. This story has touched my heart. And I thank you for the opportunity to share it. Please, pass it along.

Maybe just another opportunity to (again, not an original idea), to stand up for what you believe in, even if, especially if, you are alone!

God bless and good night!

TITHING - BEYOND THE CHURCH

Imagine, if you will, a world where we actually tithe our skills or our position to those in need. Say, a doctor tithes 10% of his office time to those without insurance. A handyman tithes 10% of his time to an elderly couple in need. A baker tithes 10% of his product to a homeless shelter. An advertising executive tithes 10% of his skills towards the business ideas of a brilliant, but less fortunate individual -- someone with a dream.

Imagine, if you will, all of the positive mentoring that would go on simultaneously.

Talk about direct contribution. Ten percent. Are you willing to tithe ten percent? I guess we'd all have to figure out what that ten percent would be. What it would look like and how we'd deliver it to the ones in need.

As John Lennon said, maybe I 'm a dreamer. But I have a feeling the world would be a better place, that the sense of community would improve and those in need would experience measurable increase if we simply tithed our time. And I just bet that those one the receiving end of our tithing would in turn tithe as well.

Tithing. Mentoring. Improving. Community building.

Food for thought. Have a blessed day!

NEVER JUDGING AGAIN

Have you ever seen a person at Walmart of Lowe's using one of those electric cars? Have you noticed they might have a can but they just look very overweight? Have you ever thought "if they just lost some weight they wouldn't need that cart?" Well guess what? I'm one of those people. Because of my medical situation, (Pulmonary Sarcoidosis), I'm having to use a cane, sometimes a walker and yes, those electronic carts.

Makes one pause before coming to conclusions or judgments about another person. Makes you look at things differently even to that person who dares not to hold that door for you when you were entering the mall. Did that person really wake up that morning with the intention of slamming the door on you? Sure, maybe the person is just plain rude, but maybe they are on their way to a funeral and have to pick up a card. You never know.

How about that person who cut you off in traffic. Did they specifically target you or are they just bad drivers? Do you really need to figure it out by chasing them in a game of cat and mouse? Or can you simply say, "thank you God that no one got hurt. Please guide that person to be safer". Or, just take a deep breath and say "peace be with you".

Hey, there's a good response - a response to something bad that happens to you. Rather than getting all worked up and angry (because we know that the anger doesn't fuel anything positive) say, "Peace be with you". See what type of response you get.

Next time someone cuts in line, slams the door on you, doesn't return your good deed with a good word - respond with "Peace be with you". See what type of response you get. Here's the good news. Here's the good medicine for yourself. Try to say "Peace be with you" in anger. Try to say it with an angry face. Bet you can't. Give it a try.

My thoughts for the day. And oh yes, Peace be with YOU!!!

THE MORNING AFTER

So the people have spoken. Some will say that the people are stupid, angry, misinformed. Others will say that the people have spoken and what we need is change. What we really need is civility. We all need to take a step back, let everything settle down and then get busy. Get busy with the number one priority -- the economy.

I have not doubt that we'll see changes. In our state of Arizona, prop 106 passed overwhelmingly. This proposition protects Arizonians against Obamacare and is consistent with state's rights under the 10th amendment. Sure, I think the health care system is broken. However, I do not believe that a government run or mandated, socialist style system is the answer. The real issue is tort reform. Unfortunately, with all of the lawyers in power positions in government, I'm not sure that tort reform will ever truly be addressed.

We now need jobs. We need to encourage small businesses to grow for everyone knows that there is where the majority of jobs comes from. We also need to remember that 70% of our economy comes from consumption. Therefore, we need to give individuals and small business incentives that result in spending thus improving the economy.

There are many issues that need to be addressed by Washington and within our state's governments. But it is my hope that this is my last, politically based post. My hope is that the election hangover will be over soon. That the news kids heading to Washington will play nice with the others. And we can move forward, focusing on what is important.

What a great country. What a great Democracy and Republic. God bless America!

ECONOMICS 1-0-1

People are so quick to forget history and the facts. (maybe on purpose)

FACT: Tax revenues increase when you let people and corporations keep their money. When you let the people keep their money, they spend their money, pay more taxes resulting in more revenue for government programs.

NO, this is not a republican idea. Sure, Regan was the one that most people point to for reducing taxes to increase revenue and yes, Bush did it too. So did Clinton and a number of other Democratic Presidents!

So please, please stop bellyaching about republicans giving breaks to the rich and hurting the middle class. That statement just does not hold up to facts of history. The bellyaching is just political, election time b.s.

No, get out there and Vote!

Election Day

I can't wait for the fighting to end. I can't wait for all of the ugly signs to come down. What I wish is that folks would make informed decisions before voting. Is it really necessary to pick a team? What's interesting about voting is that it is the only time you can either vote for or against a candidate or bill. One must actually stop the name calling, bickering and finger pointing and vote "for" something.

Maybe, someday, we can expand tolerance to include acceptance that we all have an opinion and we have a God given right to such opinions. That combined with the fact that there is really only one judge and you and I ain't it!

One's mind . . . over time

I've been home now for almost 9 months. I've been struck with a disease called Sarcoidosis. This disease is primarily attacking my lungs. I won't bore you with the details of the disease other than to say that it has left me disabled and unable to work.

During my time at home, I've found myself occupying my time with plans for the future while being scared of the future at the same time. I've also found myself alone with my thoughts for large periods of time. The result of such time is this blog.

It is my hope to post something new every day. Though I look forward to receiving comments regarding my thoughts and I hope that it is somewhat entertaining for you and for myself, I truly hope that this marks the beginning of a journey. An journey of expressed thought, hope, concern and perspective. We'll see what happens.

Please take a moment to read my profile as it will explain my background. You'll learn more about me with each posting. My goal is not to offend anyone. We live in an exciting time and within an incredible country. We are all entitled our opinions. I've learn, during my time at home, that everyone is not only entitled their opinion, but they are entitle to change their opinion when faced with additional information. That in itself is exciting to me -- the ability to keep an open mind and open heart so that one's point of view may be changed or reshaped based on an others perspective.

What I find disturbing these days is the lack of tolerance for an others opinion or perspective. While some folks become set in their opinions, unwilling to move or be influenced I find it very interesting that many people don't know or aren't really sure of what it is they believe.

What do I believe? Simple. I believe that we are here to serve God by serving others. Sure, I want to be happy, healthy and wise but there is little that for which I am in control. My success is based on perspective - how I see things and how I react to things. In most cases, perspective is a matter of choice. For me, I could easily give up to my disease, cry poor me (which I do at times) and die. Or, I can see how my disease impacts others around me. For my bride of 20 years, the impact is very negative and trying. For others around me, let's just say I've experienced many positive changes in people and in relationships that would blow your mind.

So, that's what I'm about. My hope is that you'll tune in once in a while and share your thoughts.

Be sure to enjoy the day!