There are people who go after your humanity to tell you that the light in your heart is a weakness. Don't believe them! It is an old tactic of cruel people to kill kindness in the name of virtue. There is nothing wrong with love. Have we forgotten the message of our Savior? Love the people.
The above paragraph comes from the movie Doubt. I know, again, not an original thought. But I thought it important enough to share. In a world of conflict shouldn't we first think of love? We should love those around us including those with whom we are in conflict. Say you're about to enter a meeting with someone and you feel as though you need to fight for your position. Why not start with compassion? Take time to first understand the other person's position before pushing your own? It think it was Stephen Covey who said: "seek first to understand, then be understood". A great lesson there.
With the political climate of late and all of the anger that comes with it, we could all do better to first thinking of how expressing our positions encourages or spreads love. I know that I do much better when someone explains their position or anything for that matter from a position of caring. But caring takes time and energy. Unfortunately, we live in a world of sound bites. We are often asked questions with deceptive prefaces or asked to answer complex questions with black or white answers. Why does every discussion have to become a debate? Why does every debate have to end in judgment: "What are you a liberal? Are you some kind of conservative?"
Labels. It appears to be a very easy, lazy way to come to conclusions while tossing people aside. We'd all do a bit better if we took a deep breath and had more discussions and less debates. Yes, it will take more time and more energy. But the return on investment would no doubt be great. So next time someone asks your opinion, don't be threatened - say "that's a great question. Why don't we schedule some time to sit and discuss that topic?" Again, it will take time. But in time, maybe things will change. Maybe we can change from talking points and sound bites to meaningful, caring and loving discussions. Maybe our behavior will teach others how to treat us.
I can tell you, for me, this works. I'm often asked: "In a world like ours, how can you believe in a God?". Not a light questions. And you can tell by the tone the person asking the question I could become very defensive. I now answer the question with an invitation: "If you'd like to explore the basis of my faith, we would need to invest some time to discuss. Faith is not something where a sound bite will suffice - faith deserves more than that." I haven't really had anyone take me up on the meeting, but at least I did not allow myself to be pushed into a corner and answer a question with a sound bite. And I'm sure to I invite the person with honest compassion and love.
We'd all do much better if we simply slowed down a bit and showed some loving compassion. The love of one's heart can bring light to those in conflict. When someone is firm in their position and frustrated with yours, seek first to understand then be understood. Simply listening with a loving heart will ease the frustration of the other party. For me, in my head and in my heart I say: "I love this person because they are a child of God. All of God's children deserve respect, love and compassion. I am excited to learn from this person and maybe the chance to teach something new." My prayer before a challenging meeting or interaction is: "Dear Lord, fill me with your loving holy spirit. Help me to remember that this is Your child and that all Your children deserve love and compassion. Help me to keep an open minded and help him/her to do the same. Help me to keep my words kind and my patience strong. Amen".
A loving heart. Close your eyes for a moment and think, how does it feel to have a loving heart? Take a deep breath and think of your loving heart. Your blood pressure would come down. You'd experience a warmth about you and your tone would become calm. Maybe we should all try this throughout our day so that we stay centered and focused. Centered and focused on love, compassion and patience.
Be sure to enjoy your day!
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